In 2009 A.D., two rogue researchers set on a path to spread the gospel of man’s most stoic waterfowl friend: the duck. For five feathered years, the Canadian trapezist known on the Dark Web as A-Trak and the diplomatic passport-holding hostage negotiation expert Armand Van Helden distilled their avian discoveries to the tune of the kickdrum. They called this project Duck Sauce.
But as of late, the Ducks’ undisclosed Disco Communication Tower Beta 32 has been unsettlingly quiet. Not much was known about their location or strategy, though an undercover agent claims to have spotted Armand and A-Trak at a Wednesday night merengue class in Key Largo, Florida.
After morse code transmissions hinting at some 2020 activity, the two black-belt groove merchants confirmed a Zumba performance at the shamanistic desert gathering known as Coachella. Today, they share a new audio hieroglyph: “Smiley Face.”